EFL Writing II Class

pada tanggal

One of the places to visit in Central Kalimantan is Palangka Raya city. First, islamic center is very interesting, you can see institute islamic college of Palangka Raya and Raya Darussalam mosque. On yos soedarso street, you can see University of Palangka Raya. There are places to relax in Palangka Raya city at least Kalawa Water Park, big square, city park, Balanga Museum, Rawa Rofi and others. There are places to shopping  is hypermart, barata, palma, kahayan market, blauran market, big market and others. Many hotel in Palangka Raya city are Swiss Hotel Danum, Global Hotel, Luwansa Hotel, Aquarius Hotel and others. Under kahayan bridge, you can see paint about culture of Dayak ethnic. To conclude, Palangka Raya are interesting and beautiful city to visit in Central Kalimantan.



-Revision version

One of the places to visit in Central Kalimantan is Palangka Raya city. First, Palangka Raya has some popular college and be the famous destination of education for the new university student such as: Institute Islamic College of Palangka Raya, University of Palangka Raya, University of Muhamadiyah Palangka Raya, and many more. Second, the city also has some tourist spot like: Darussalam mosque, Kahayan bridge, City Park, Balanga Museum, Kalawa Water Park, Big Square, Rawa Rofi and others. Third, there are places to shopping  is hypermart, barata, palma, kahayan market, blauran market, big market and others. Fourth, many hotel in Palangka Raya city are Swiss Hotel Danum, Global Hotel, Luwansa Hotel, Aquarius Hotel and others. Under kahayan bridge, you can see paint about culture of Dayak ethnic. To conclude, Palangkaraya has been a prime place to visit while in Central Kalimantan.


Komentar

  1. Unknown1 Desember 2015 pukul 19.47

    The paragraph can be interesting if you give more explain one or two places that be typical of Palangkaraya city. :)

    BalasHapus
  2. Mirna wati2 Desember 2015 pukul 07.25

    Komentar ini telah dihapus oleh pengarang.

    BalasHapus
  3. Mirna wati2 Desember 2015 pukul 07.42

    In this paragraph there is one signal word, that is "first". should be more structural added another signal words, example second, third and so on.

    BalasHapus
  4. Unknown6 Desember 2015 pukul 04.42

    Komentar ini telah dihapus oleh pengarang.

    BalasHapus
  5. Unknown6 Desember 2015 pukul 04.47

    Did you remember about our previous lesson? We must make a list of the supporting sentence that connected with the topic sentence. I suggest you to make it first. Let's talk about your paragraph :)
    The first, look at your second and third sentence. There are 2 separate college. It must be one supporting sentence. Example: Palangka Raya has some popular college and be the famous destination of education for the new university student such as: Institute Islamic College of Palangka Raya, University of Palangka Raya, University of Muhamadiyah Palangka Raya, and many more.
    The second, just looking for the mosque in the first paragraph, the fourth paragraph and the seventh paragraph . I think you should make a new supporting sentence about, for example: The city also has some tourist spot like: Darussalam mosque, Kahayan bridge, City Park, Balanga Museum, etc.
    And the last is just my opinion, if I be a tourist who read your article about the interesting place, I might not visit the place soon because your concluding sentence is to simple and not convincing. The concluding sentence have to be a power of the story, and the reader will be convince with us.

    BalasHapus

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