First draft:
Saber
Dance
Saber
dance is one of the traditional dance from Central Kalimantan.
In Dayak language, saber dance called “Tari Mandau”. While doing saber dance we
should use property from traditional weapons Dayak. For example, Mandau
and Talawang. Saber dance followed with the chanting of a
melodious voice of Dayak traditional musical instruments.
For example, Gandang and Gerantung. Saber dance is familiar dance
for people in Palangka Raya, because often graced the stage in custom events.
For example, welcoming ceremony, cultural festivals and others. Saber dance is
not only popular in Palangka Raya or Indonesia. Saber dance has gone
International. Saber dance is often performed at the International cultural
festival to represent the traditional ethnic culture of Indonesia. Saber
dance is a dance that included traditional weapons and traditional musical
instruments in Central Kalimantan into one whole dance area.
Tari Mandau : one of the traditional dance from Central Kalimantan.
Weapon :
something, example a gun, bomb or sword, used in fighting.
Mandau :
a traditional weapon Dayak shaped chopping knife.
Talawang :
a traditional weapon Dayak shaped shield.
Accompanied : play music to support a singer or another instrument.
Strains :
pressure on sb/sth because they have too much to do or deal.
Gandang :
a musical instrument made of wood, while the vibrating membrane of Gandang made
from animal skins.
Garantung : a musical instrument made of metal, resembling the Gamelan
music of Java.
1. you shoul use signal order such as first....,next, or than.
BalasHapusfor example " next, Saber dance accompanied by the strains of a melodious voice and stomping of Dayak traditional musical instruments".
2. for example " than, Saber dance is familiar dance for people in Palangka Raya, because often graced the stage in custom events".
I agree with Ratna you should use signal order in your paragraft. TThat will make it looks better.
BalasHapusAdd aupporting sentence and add signal order in your text
BalasHapus